Intended Consequence: A Birth Story: Asher David Legare

Born to Chad and Destiny

March 25, 2014

1:06 AM

9 lbs 2 oz

20.5 inches

Asher was born after a fast and furious labor, from start to finish it was a total of 3 hours and 6 min. I guess he was making up for staying inside 41 weeks, really if he would have come a day later it would have be 42 weeks and he would have shared the 26^th with the rest of the family: Chad and Destiny’s Wedding Anniversary and Cousin Haylyn’s Birthday– May 26, Jude and Shiloh’s Birthday – August 26. Asher’s Birthday – March 25, he’s obviously stubborn and wanted to be born on his terms.

Monday morning, March 24^th, I got up and took the boys and myself to the chiropractor (because that’s what we do). I was exhausted and trying not to be depressed that I was still pregnant and huge. I wanted to get out of the house so I wouldn’t drive myself crazy thinking every Braxton Hicks might be a real contractions but I also hated going out because strangers would comment, “looks like you’re about to head to the hospital” and some people would say, “your still pregnant?” and then the worst was the look of pity some people gave me. Look I don’t need your pity and you to ask me when I’m going to go get induced because I’m not and this baby will come when he’s ready. Anyway after the chiropractor visit we went walking in the neighborhood, popped in on a friend in the neighborhood, met Granny at Chick-Fil-A, went to Granny’s house so the boys could play with Haylyn, home for naps (that didn’t happen), and ate dinner.

Around 8pm, after getting Jude and Shiloh down for the night Chad and I sat down to watch Star Wars. Asher began to go crazy: he was moving and kicking and stretching and punching – it was BJJ and Taekwodo inside me. When the movie ended we got ready for bed and Asher was still going crazy and I kept thinking I’m so tired but I’m never going to get to sleep because this kid won’t stop.

At 10pm when I had just laid down in bed and was trying to get comfy I realized Asher had finally gotten quiet and I was soaked and I thought, “Did I just pee on myself?...No, way to much fluid…I think my water broke.” I woke Chad up and told him I thought my water had broke and he asked if I was sure and I said “ummmm, yes.”

I called my midwife, Connie Blokkum, and told her my water broke but I wasn’t having contractions yet. She told me to rest and keep her posted.

Chad, awesome husband that he is, began to fill up the birthing pool and then he changed the sheets on our bed and prepared them as we had been previously instructed.

My contractions started up a few minutes after I had talked to Connie and they were really strong. They were 10 minutes apart for about 30 minutes and then they began to get closer. I sent Connie a copy of my contractions and told her I would call her in a minute as I was having a contractions right then. When I called she was gathering her things and headed my way, it was about 11pm.

I spent a majority of my laboring in the bathroom because I kept gushing fluid with every contraction. Who knew there was so much when your water broke? (With Jude the doc broke my water and I didn’t realize how much it was and with Shiloh I was already in full labor and in the birthing pool). It was actually really nice in the bathroom because I could sit on my fitness ball and rest my head on the granite counters (which were nice and cool) during my contractions.

From 11pm to 11:30 pm I tried to keep track of my contractions with my handy dandy iphone app contraction master so Connie would have an idea how my labor was going when she arrived. However it got increasingly difficult because they never stopped. I would have a contraction that lasted 6-7 minutes and then I would start it right back up. Connie and Amanda Newkirk, birth assistant, arrived around 11:30pm just about the time I thought, “I’m done tracking contractions.” After that who knows because really it doesn’t matter. Connie told me afterward that it appeared as if I never had anytime between contractions – so yeah I would say I had one long contraction until Asher was born, they did strengthen and lessen but is was always there – no breaks.

About midnight the pool was almost ready for me to get in and I couldn’t wait. Connie asked if I’d like her to check me while we were waiting and I said sure but then I heard Chad and Amanda say the pool was ready and I climbed in. Ahhh water. I love water. It helped relieve the pain of the contractions and was so soothing.

Throughout the rest of the labor I tried to stay focused and really relax during my contractions. So weird because I could hear Connie and Amanda ask Chad questions about birth supplies and I wanted to tell them where they were but I didn’t want to get distracted so I would count my breaths and really focus on breathing. I also could hear Chad reading scripture and praying for me as he sat next to me. Connie was also praying and hearing the two of them pray really calmed me and helped me stay relaxed. Connie would check the baby’s heart rate everyone once in a while and that also helped because I could hear Asher and it helped me focus.

Transition hit and it hit hard. Chad got in the pool with me and sat behind me supporting me and encouraging me to relax into him that he would hold me up. So awesome because I could just float and didn’t have to hold myself up. I started to feel pushy and Connie asked to check me and I was completely effaced and at 8cm. She encouraged me to wait to push until it was an overwhelming urge. I knew that would be best so I wouldn’t tear so I waited but I really wanted to be done. About that time I started saying things like, “I can’t do this” and “I don’t want to do this.” And I could hear Connie saying, “you can do this, your almost there.” And I tried to surrender to the process and relax.

Asher started to crown and Connie told me I could feel his head if I wanted. And sure enough I could when I reached down. Not much longer. Suddenly I knew I could do this. A few minutes later I knew I needed to push and after about 2 or 3 pushes Asher’s head and then his body followed. He was born at 1:06 am, just over 3 hours after my water had broke.

Connie lifted Asher up and placed him in my arms and I held him. Words can’t describe the feelings I had so I won’t try. It was overwhelming and awesome and so much more.

I am so glad to have had my birth at home. I will always remember how I felt at the birth of each of my children and I can say that wish Jude had not been born in the hospital, even though it was un-medicated, the way I felt afterward was not jubilant and empowered and strong and treasured and like a person rather I remember feelings of failure and feeling like I was not strong and that I was just another victim, I mean patient. Anyway again words fail to describe. But with the births of Shiloh (born at the Katy Birth Center with Connie as my midwife) and Asher I felt so good and the experience has shaped me and given me so much confidence and I can’t explain but it is wonderful. I wouldn’t change it for the world. The pain was worth it.