Tongue Tied

Please excuse my blog of errors - grammatical and logical train of thought:

Well it appears that little Mr. Ezra was tongue tied and he also had a lip tie. After a wonderful visit with a pediatric dentist, discussion of what tongue tie is, discussion of all the symptoms and problems breastfeeding Ezra has and an exam, we knew what it was we were facing. I consented to the correction/removal procedure and Ezra got both ties taken care of. It was very costly - both monetarily and more importantly emotionally on me. I absolutely hate it when he cries and is in pain - and I consented to it. But it was necessary so its good that it is at least done. Now we just have the long road of mouth excersices and care of the wound sites (I am less than thrilled about what I have to do because it will without a doubt cause him pain - at least in the beginning - but again necessary) and building up my milk supply.

I so wish it would be a quick and simple and easy fix - but things don't always work out that way. Sometimes the way forward is painful and long.

I have no fancy degree studying theology but I do love Jesus and know that He is the best teacher ever and I know that He is inviting me in to knowing Him more and I can't help but relate this to God - I see him in everything.

God is always teaching and leading and it is cool to see how he connects the things we are going through to the things we are studying.

This week we were gathered together with some other followers of Jesus to fellowship and discuss the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (one of my most favorite authors!) and our discussion led us to the topic of suffering (oh sheesh I just had Yoda's voice in my head..."leads to suffering"). James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish it works so you may be mature and complete not lacking anything." So I suppose I should be overcome with joy...not quite there yet but perhaps I will be one day...

So here we are discussing suffering and if God allows it or causes it - I'm just going to say that I am not God and I do not know the answer this is just my musings on the subject - and the very next day I have to watch my baby suffer because of the tongue tie procedure. It breaks my heart that he is suffering and going through this. If there were anyway I could take his pain I would. And yet at the same time I consented to the procedure. I could have declined the procedure but I didn't because I knew it was necessary. The tie was causing him to not able to eat and grow as he gets older it would have inhibited his speech and could have had other issues due to the tie. So I consented and waited through the procedure. I held him after as he screamed in pain. I tried to soothe him. I held him and let him nurse. Then I had to let my heart break again as I did the wound care which sent him once again in to tears. It has to be done but I hate it.

That's when it hit me. God hates it when we suffer. I can't answer if he is causing it or allowing it or whatever but I know that he hates it. I know also that he is there with us in the suffering. He wants to hold us and he tries to soothe us. He comforts us. More than that He did something no other God would do - He entered into our suffering. Jesus came to suffer and die. He did not stand by and watch our suffering He came and took it on himself - because He loves us and cares for us. See when sin entered the world there was no quick, simple, easy fix the way forward was long and filled with pain - pain we were not left to deal with on our own - Jesus came to suffer with and for us.

Thank you Jesus. I choose to trust him when I'm suffering - regardless of if I know the reason for it. Ezra is doing great today and he still loves me and trust me and lets me comfort him and I want to trust that Jesus loves me and let him comfort me.


Here are some pictures of our little guy! Please note that it is a new experience for everyone to feed one of my babies...there have never been any bottles until Ezra...I think every one is enjoying the experience:


Smily baby (he was up to 10lb 11.1oz)