Mom

Mom,

I miss you so much. I am slammed again today even after 16 years with the loss of you. I keep thinking it should get easier each year but it's almost the opposite ever year I dread April Fool's Day because while some people enjoy the fun day of pranks I can only remember the day you died. I was just 15. It was awful and is etched in my memory. Sudden and without warning. I didn't know that when I hugged you and said I love you and went to Granny and Granddaddy's house for the night it was the last time. I didn't know that while drinking coffee and playing canasta after a lovely church service we would get a frantic call from Charity, 10 at the time saying you were knocked out. As Granddaddy flew down Telge at what must have been 70 miles per hour or higher I was unprepared to see you lying on the ground, and then whisked away in the the ambulance. I remember collapsing against the wall at the hospital when they came and told us you were gone. I remember looking on the empty you in the hospital bed.

I also remember how Jesus, whom you loved and taught me to love was with us. I remember praying as we raced to my house. I remember dad circling us up as the ambulance drove off and how he lead us in prayer to remember and trust Jesus. I remember the lady in the bathroom comforting me and telling me Jesus was with me - she left before me out the door but those waiting out side the door for me told me no one came out. I remember picking up your Bible and reading the verses you had highlighted and knowing the Jesus loved me - even though everything was all wrong and it seemed nothing could be right ever again. I remember listening your favorite artist Rich Mullins and the lyrics to "Hold Me Jesus." I remember how I was never truly alone that Jesus was with me. I remember your presence in the form of friends and family who love you.

The pain and loss of you is tremendous. I miss you. I wish most every day that you could see your grandsons and that they could know you. I wish I had had more time with you. I am thankful you are my mom. I am thankful you taught me to love Jesus. You gave me the best gift ever - you led me to him. I can't wait until the day I meet you again and we can be with Jesus together forever. I love you and miss you.

-Destiny

please excuse any poor grammar due to emotionalism...

Mom and Granny 

Mom's senior picture

Mom barrel racing

A beautiful bride

Mom with Jeremy

3

3 is a great number! Today Asher is 3! 

Asher David,

Your name suits you to a t!

Asher meaning happy. You make Mommy so happy, not a day goes by when you don't make me smile and laugh out loud. I love how you gallop when you are happy as you make your way to where ever you are headed. I love how you tell story after story and recount in great detail the events of the day or yesterday or 6 months ago. I love your big appetite and how hungry you always are (though you may need to plan on getting a job to pay for extra snacks as we do have a budget - you know). I love how you add "you know" to the end of half of your sentences you know. I love how smart you are - my clever little guy. I love your logic. You are a dangerous little dude as it is hard to say no to those sparkling eyes and dimpled cheeks when you ask in the sweetest voice for the things you desire (but sorry you can't have chocolate in your yogurt with out yogurt - nice try).

David meaning beloved and after your Pops and David of the Bible. You are so loved. Mommy and Daddy love you. Your brothers love you. Your Mimi, Pops, Graddad, Granny and all your Aunts and Uncles love you. Most of all you are loved by Jesus. You are brave and adventurous much like David in the Bible. You have a confidence that you can do things that no kid your age should be doing but you just go out and do it. It reminds me of how David knew and believed that God would defeat that mean 'ole giant Goliath and how he just went out there and fought the battle. I pray that you would grow and place your confidence in Jesus and that you would go out there and fight his battles, knowing the battle is already won!

Happy Birthday Asher!

Happy 1st Birthday Ezra!

Ezra Jordan,

Happy 1^st Birthday my sweet heart of my heart! I love you so much! You are my little tiny present from God.

Mommy and Daddy gave you a big name – a name we pray would draw you close to our God – Ezra Jordan.

Ezra after the Ezra in the Old Testament. Ezra was described as having “the hand of the LORD his God on him,” and one who “had set his heart to study the Law of the LORD, and to do it and to teach his statutes and rules in Israel.” My little Ezra my prayer is that you would have the hand of the LORD on you, that you would call the LORD your God, and that you would set your heart to study the Law of the LORD and to do it and teach it. Ezra is Hebrew for help. I pray that you would have the help of the LORD all your days and that in turn you would help others to know the LORD and know the help that is only found in Him.

Jordan after the Jordan River where so many miraculous things have happened, water stopped up so Israelites could cross on dry land, Naaman healed of leprosy and the Baptism of Jesus to name a few. Jordan is Hebrew for flowing down and we thought it fitting to name you “help flowing down” as a reminder to us all that our help comes flowing down from the LORD and we pray that it would continue to flow down into the lives of others.

I will also admit that during my drives to the midwife the last couple of months of pregnancy the song, The River by Jordan Feliz was always on the radio and at first I found it annoying but as I truly listened to the words I fell in love with the song. The song convinced me Jordan was the right name as it was firstly by Jordan and secondly and more importantly about The River – Jesus where our lives are changed.  So I will end my birthday blessing with the lyrics, though it’s better if you just listen to the song:

I know a place
Where we can go
To lay the troubles down eating your soul
I know a place
Where mercy flows
Take the stains make you whiter than snow

Like a tide it is rising up
Deep inside
A current that moves and makes you come alive
Living water
That brings the dead to life

We’re goin down to the river
Down to the river
Down to the river to pray
Let’s get washed by the water
Washed by the water
And rise up in amazing grace
Let’s go down, down, down to the river
You will leave changed
Let’s go down, down, down to the river
Never the same

I’ve seen it move
In my own life
Took me from dusty roads into Paradise
All of my dirt
All of my shame
Drowned in the streams that have made me born again

Like a tide it is rising up
Deep inside
A current that moves and makes you come alive
Living water
That brings the dead to life

We’re goin down to the river
Down to the river
Down to the river to pray
Let’s get washed by the water
Washed by the water
And rise up in amazing grace
Let’s go down, down, down to the river
You will leave changed
Let’s go down, down, down to the river
Never the same

Half A Year

Ezra is half year today! Happy 6 months buddy!

Weighing in at 11 lbs 7 1/2 oz. Standing (or laying) roughly 24 1/4 inches. Wearing 6 month clothing and size 1 diapers. Ezra has been weaned from supplements and is fed from mommy only. He has 1 tooth and 1 on the way (which does not make mommy happy - where is that bottle?). Ezra sleeps for one 5-6 hr stretch a night. He will not nap for longer than 15-20 minutes unless mommy is wearing him in the beco. Ezra likes to be the center of attention or at least have a parent, sibling, dog, grandparent, friend or stranger making eye contact with him and then he's happy. He likes to jump. He can roll over both ways. He has good hand eye coordination and can shove just abut anything he grasps in his mouth. He loves string and rope and hair - all of which he pulls. Ezra is doing great!

Geckos and Rhinos

Geckos and Rhinos? What on earth do those things have in common? Observe these conversations:

Me: "You have searched me Lord and you know me"
Jude: "You have searched me Lord and you know me, Shiloh you say it then I'll be the gecko."
Me: "what's a gecko?"
Jude: "we did it at school today, I did it with Mrs... not Mrs. Lamar, the other one."
Me: "Mrs. LeCompte."
Jude: "Yes."
Shiloh: "You have searched me Lord, you know me."
Jude: "You have searched me Lord, you know me."
Me: "Oh, echo"


Chad and I having returned from dinner out in the Caymans, Christy put the boys to bed.

Christy: "So the boys asked me to sing the rhino song tonight, I have no idea what that song is, so I youtube searched for it and got nothing, what is the rhino song?"
Me: "I have no idea...hmmmm...they like me to sing the arky song but there are no rhinos in it...."
Chad: hmmmm....
Me: "what on earth?"
Christy: "I have no idea"
Chads: Singing to himself songs we sing to the boys "this rhino, Jesus loves me?"
Me: "Jesus loves me this rhino, for the Bible tells me so..."

my kids may need hearing exams....



Jude at school.



Shiloh decorating bday cupcakes.



Morning Asher.



Smile Ezra.

Bulking Up

Ezra has been bulking up. He is now 11 lbs 4.2 oz! LOL! He is still a tiny guy but the good news is that with a birth weight of 5 lbs 5.5oz he is now back on his growth curve (which is not on the charts)!

Yesterday we had our final follow up with the pediatric dentist who took care of his tongue tie and lip tie and she released us from her care and from all mouth exercises. I've met with a lactation consultant and Ezra's latch is now great. He is nursing well and we are now on a plan to wean him off supplements (which is for me an arduous process - because I have to track everything - and I'm an ESTP (myers brigg personality type) we don't do tracking and schedules and writing things down well). Once he is weaned from supplements I will wean myself from the medication I am taking to increase my milk supply. So hopefully we will be done with this whole process in a month or two (if I survive the scheduling - I feel my life slipping away just thinking about it).

Happy weight gain to Ezra!

Before

Before

Sorry its not the greatest but this was Monday.

After

After

6 and 4

There are no 5 year olds in my house. There are no 3 year olds in my house. We now have a 6 year old and a 4 year old!

Happy 6th Birthday Jude:

Jude,
You are my special little guy. You made me a mom. You are my first. I love you so much! Jude you are a smart and witty guy, you make people laugh with your cute comments and your well thought out ideas. I love that you love legos. You are great at building things and figuring out how to make things work. When you put your mind to learning something I am amazed at how quickly you master what you have determined to master. You have a great imagination and I love to see you slay dragons, rescue your sister (pretend sister...), capture the bad guy with your lasso, and use your ninjago skills to save the day. You love stories and it makes me glad to share them with you. You love to climb, anything that can be climbed you climb, carefully at first finding every hand and foothold you can. Jude you are an amazing big brother, you play with Shiloh and Asher, you talk to and hold and help feed Ezra, you look out for them, you help them, you are ready to protect them when they need. I pray Jude that you would use the life God has given you to bring him praise, that is what Jude means, "praised one or one who brings praise." I pray that you would be a courageous warrior, which is what your middle name Caleb means, standing up for what is right, for those who need someone to stand up for them. Jude use your imagination and ability to figure things out to solve problems and bring God glory. Jude use your love of stories, telling and listening to tell the Biggest Story - the only Story that matters, the Story of Jesus. Jude continue to be a big brother to Shiloh, Asher and Ezra and learn to be a brother to your family found in Jesus. Jude this year I pray that you would grow and that as you climb your way through life you would keep your eyes on Jesus - never take your eyes off him and let him be your hand and foothold. I love you little guy. Happy Birthday!

Happy 4th Birthday Shiloh:

Shiloh,
You are my sweet little man. I love you so much! Shiloh you are so smart. You are kind and caring. You think about other people and how you can help them and what they need. You are quick to help Asher and Ezra when they are upset. You are not afraid of hard work - in fact you welcome it. When I see you helping Daddy with the yard, carrying heavy things for me, working alongside Granny or Mr. Joe my heart swells with pride and the man I see you will one day become. You have a wonderful imagination and I love it when you ask me to call you "Luke," as you fight Darth Vader and the dark side, or "King Edmund, but not high king because Peter is high king," Edmund is my favorite too, or "Kai" the red ninja. You are always fighting on the right side - for good and not evil. Shiloh I love that you love stories and I love to snuggle with you and read. I love that you love to play board games  and I love that you are getting so good at doing puzzles. I pray Shiloh that you would grow and discover who God has made you to be. I pray that you would continue to share a heart with Jesus showing love, being kind and caring. I pray that you would keep helping people. I pray that you would never tire of work - for God made us to work - that you find the work that He has for you and that you would do the work he gives you to bring him praise. Shiloh I pray that you would always see Jesus and choose to be on his side, and a soldier for him. I pray that you would hear and share the Story of Jesus. I love you Shiloh, my little man. Happy Birthday!